everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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