piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
