Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We are two peas in an std pod
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
