I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
is that a dick in a sweater?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
