let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
