This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
