Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
