Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize