Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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