Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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