True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
