I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
