We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
