oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize