he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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