i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
its liver damage thursday
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