508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
