after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize