That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
