She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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