so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
