The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
