Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
