Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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