barbara walters just said penis...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize