Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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