A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
