So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
