I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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