i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize