just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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