You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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