I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
