Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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