The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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