Her vagina should come with caution tape.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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