OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
