Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize