Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
