I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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