At least make sure they are 18
Why
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
