There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
