i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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