stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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