Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
