Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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