Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
