And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
