I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
