He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
