brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i would punch a child for taco bell
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
