"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
