my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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