Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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