So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
