I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
