dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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