so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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