does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
