I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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