The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Semen is not good for contacts.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize