You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
