Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
