I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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