someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize