You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
