you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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